Results from 4/8/15:
Goldfish’s Karaoke Report
4/8/15
Tuffy’s Lounge, Wilmington, Illinois.
5 people made the drive to Tuffy’s Lounge for the nightly Goldfish’s Karaoke Show Revamped. Among these people was Momper, who chose the place because a) He wanted to celebrate being on VLR and b) He didn’t want Ginger to ride far with his dress on (more on that later). Another singer was Ramen N00dles, with his new mic on his head; he was ready to party like it was a house party in the 1990s. The other three were Goldfish, Ginger, and Duster.
Once everyone had their drinks and bar food/fish flakes, singing went underway. The order of singing was: Goldfish, Duster, Ginger, RMN, Momper. The scoring system was on a scale of 1-10, 10 best. Goldfish’s first song was Word Crimes, by “Weird Al” Yankovic. He sung this song with proper grammar, because it would be against the law to sing it any other way. Momper gave him an 8, Ginger gave him a 7, Ramen a 7, and Duster blew out his ear drums with his next song.
I have no idea what Duster’s next song was, all we agreed on was that it was some kind of hip-hop. We didn’t rate the song, but we gave Duster 10 points for trying anyway. So Duster is in the lead, and we don’t even know the song.
Next was Ginger and he sang Shock’s favorite song (CLEARLY trying to suck up to Shock because Momper was on VLR before Ginger himself was), Love Me Like you do by Ellie Goulding; typical Ginger, singing about emotions even though he doesn’t have any. Anyway, we all agreed it wasn’t bad and gave him 8’s. Except Duster, Duster in his drunken ways stumbled out of the bar to get his phone out of his car, only to end up at the Corner Tap bar down the road. So we never heard from him again.
Next was RMN, and he sung “We Ran out of CD Space” by Pyschostik. He sung it pretty well, matched the tone of the voice in the song and everything. Missed some words, but everyone does at some point. Momper gave him an 8, Ginger an 8, and Goldfish a 9.
After that was Momper and he sung Faithfully by Journey. And damn. Remember a while back when Goldfish fell out of his bowl cause that guy from REO Speedwagon sung? Well, that happened again here. Luckily, Tuffy himself was able to revive Goldfish in time. He was given 10’s all around. With that, he takes the lead.
Goldfish comes back around with Fight for Your Right by the Beastie Boys. Well, Goldfish certainly delivered the punk voice in this song, then proceeded to give a 10 minute lecture on the differences between anarchy-capitalism and anarchy-communism, which as it turns out, nobody gave a crap. But, an 8, 8, and a 9 were given.
After Goldfish’s lecture was Ginger, and he sung his “most favorite song” (his words) of all time; Baby by Justin Bieber. He even sent us a picture of him with Justin! Ginger is one dedicated fan, as he matched the pitch AND the words. Perfectly. He even sent us a picture of himself later on wearing a dress because, and I quote, “Justin Bieber loves dresses”. Wow. Anyway he got a 7, 7 and a 6 from Momper, RMN, and Goldfish respectively.
Because I don’t want a very long report, I’ll just show the points now, hope to see you tonight:
Momper – 32
Goldfish – 29
RMN – 25
Ginger – 23
Duster – 10
