TOPIC:

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couh makes your back hurt.
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.

glad them r signs of maturity casue i was reading them thinkn i think thats just a sign of getting old

Lol ... I think that's another sign of "maturity" ... when you call gettin' old maturing .... lmao!

I thought you were younger Jammin? I remember being a teenager and thinking "Man, I can't wait 'til I'm 20!" Then in my 20's I though "Man, I can't imagine being 30! That sounds so OLD!" Now that I'm 32, I say to myself "Man I sure hope I make it to 40!"

32 Damn you only a young buck!!!!! Hmmmm I need some signs Rusty got and spares??

If thats real signs of maturity, I may be the most Immature person in the USA.

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. -- we have a ton of plants everywhere
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. -- california king
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. -- have to with 3 kids in the house
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. -- during the school year
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. -- i hate elevators , they hurt my back
6. You watch the Weather Channel. -- i have always watched the wather channel , its color coded so even idiots like me can understand
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up. -- i have a few friends left
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. -- im retired hahahahahahaha (only a certain few will get the joke)
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." -- i dont own a sweater , i dont get dressed up , dressin up for me is NOT wearing a racing tshirt
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo. -- we are the youngest house on our road
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. -- i steer clear of relatives
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. -- not sure if i ever knew
13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up. -- that seems backwards to me
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers. -- we have a stupid cat , i try to teach it to walk on a leash outside tho
15. Sleeping on the couh makes your back hurt. -- sleeping , sitting , standing - everything hurts my back
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM. -- never been into napping

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. Don't do Plants
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. Whats sex
3. You keep more food than beer in the Fridge Don"t drink so this is normal
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. Hmmm somedays
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. LMFAO
6. You watch the Weather Channel. I DO
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up. No comment
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. Maybe when Incarcerated
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." That is dressing up
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo. Don't call POLICE
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. LMFAO there to old
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. Tacos from there suck
13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up. Never gonna happen
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers. He like McDonalds better
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt. Nope love my couch
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM. Don't do naps

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.what else is a plant good for?
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.take it anywhere i can get it.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.food takes away from my beers coldness.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.only on weekdays.
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator.only place around here with elevator is hospital and im allergic to them.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.always have
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up.yep
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.less than 14
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."my fancy duds are blue jeans
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.only if i turn me hearing aid up.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.theyre so old they forgot what sex is
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.1am?
13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up.both keep goin up
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers.only have a cat and mine already walsk on a leash
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.i take naps on the couch every day after work lol
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.naps from 4-5pm

Mama Tiger wrote:

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. - I got a 4 month old...I dont have time for plants
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. - Having sex with twins would be better (hope my wife dont read this)
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. - Never been a drinker...Once had a 12 pack in the fridge for 2 months
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. - Id kill to sleep till 6 (remmber the 4 month old)
5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. - Sweet Child O Mine is awesome in the elevator
6. You watch the Weather Channel. - Only when a big disaster comes up
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up. - My stepbrother is on his 4th marriage (hes 34)
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. - I had a total of 3 days off this summer
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." - Thats what I wear to church
10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo.- The lady next door is 103
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. - My dads told me dirty jokes since i was 3
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. - I thought it was open 24/7
13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up. - Stupid insurance
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers. - Ol'Roy dogfood
15. Sleeping on the couh makes your back hurt. - I only sleep on the couch when im in trouble
16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM.- I try to sleep from 330-5 every day before i go get the kids

Straight from the horses mouth!
1. Your house plants are dead, but you keep them for sentimental reasons.
2. Having sex is out of the question. picture's work good.
3. You keep your medicine in the refrigerator. most the food is the dry or canned type.
4. 3:00 AM is when you get up, go back to bed at 10:00 AM back up a 3:00 PM
5. You hear your favorite song on the oldies channel from the 40's and 50's
6. You watch the Weather Channel. mostly but with some news channels.
7. You have marryed and divorce several times over. and your friends are like WTF dude.
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. then back to 130 days.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." Boxers and a white T-shirt is as good as it gets
10. You never call the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo, you just let,er play.
11. Older relatives use to tell sex jokes around you. but there all gone now.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. I hear a bell ringing in my ears most the time any ways, HuH HuH What
13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up. yeh, and ive threaten them, I would sell both the Lexus's if the keep going up to.
14. You feed your dog when you remember. and your friend says "kinda skinny ain't he"?
15. Sleeping on the $8000 Temper Pedic makes your back hurt. so you sleep on the couch
16. You now have to take a 5 hour nap, twice a day. and your still tired.
17. Your favorite pet is your Colt Python.
18. You finally got your 30 yr. morgage paid, but your property tax costs you twice what the payment was.
19. You just now in life was able to buy a new Pickup and gas prices doubled.
20. Your grand daughter calls you and wants to go to college and you should pay for it, cause you made her dad.
21. You live in a fine 6 bedroom home 3 car garage and your kids tell you that you need to down size and they will help.
22. You can't to save your life, figure out why everybody isn't a republican.
23. You still wonder what the Vietnam war was really over. and why your friends that returned got retarted over there.
24. Who shot John Kennedy? was it really Oswald?
25. Who the hell is Justin Bieber?

Wow, didn't know this was gonna take off like it did ... lol. Here's my "add-ons":

1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. Houseplants? Uh, Rusty has 2 that HE keeps alive.

2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. Um, queen size and when we go camping

3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. Neither of us drink, so yep

4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. Yep - weekdays cuz of Ryan and Rusty; weekends cuz of Rusty

5. You hear your favorite song on an elevator. Sometimes, but Ryan did ask me if we could listen to the "popular" station instead of oldies from the 1990's

6. You watch the Weather Channel. Always have

7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook up and break up. Yep

8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14. I went from 130 (teaching) to 365 when I lost my job

9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." Not too keen on dressing up, panty hose are the enemy!

10. You're the one calling the police because those damn kids next door won't turn down the stereo. Done it, but only cuz they were drunk and running around in the middle of the road...come to think of it, that's the craziest thing my neighbor and I ever did ... ugh

11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you. Only Rusty's mom does that and I HATE it! =)

12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. Sure do, 2 AM here

13. Your car insurance goes down and your payments go up. Both have stayed the same

14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds leftovers. Ours eat whatever's on sale and I have a coupon for

15. Sleeping on the couh makes your back hurt. I'm with Karl on this one; the bed kills my back, but the couch is just comfy enough

16. You no longer take naps from noon to 6 PM. Depends on if I slept on the couch or not ... and then I usually nap in the morning (that way I know Rusty won't come home and catch me) =)

karl wears support hose all the time and you dont hear him griping do ya mamat?

Mama Tiger wrote:

listen to the "popular" station instead of oldies from the 1990's

And now I feel old.......I'm still part of the group that when they hear 10 years ago, they think mid-late 90s.

J-MAC wrote:

Mama Tiger wrote:

listen to the "popular" station instead of oldies from the 1990's

And now I feel old.......I'm still part of the group that when they hear 10 years ago, they think mid-late 90s.

Oh please, don't even go there! Mr. "I'm 19 years old" ... I'd kill to be that age again!

ya sucks when they play something from the early 90s and the person workn with ya doesnt rember the song and ur like i rember when it cam out and now i listen to the oldies station instead of the popularr ones i said id never do that

Mama Tiger wrote:

J-MAC wrote:

Mama Tiger wrote:

listen to the "popular" station instead of oldies from the 1990's

And now I feel old.......I'm still part of the group that when they hear 10 years ago, they think mid-late 90s.

Oh please, don't even go there! Mr. "I'm 19 years old" ... I'd kill to be that age again!

I AM!!! When I think 90s I don't think over 10 years ago. The 90s were just a few years ago to me! 60s and 70s stuff is old.

Lyrics :
I was lonelier than Kunta Kinte at a Merle Haggard concert
That night I strolled on into Uncle Limpy's Hump Palace lookin' for love.
It had been a while.
In fact, three hundred and sixty-five had come and went
since that midnight run haulin' hog to Shakey Town on I-10.
I had picked up this hitchhiker that was sweatin' gallons
through a pair of Daisy Duke cut-offs and one of those Fruit Of The Loom tank-tops.
Well, that night I lost myself to ruby red lips,
milky white skin and baby blue eyes.
Name was Russell.

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Well, faster than you can say, "shallow grave",
this pretty little thing come up to me and starts kneadin' my balls
like hard-boiled eggs in a tube sock.
Said her name was Bambi and I said, "Well that's a coincidence darlin',
'cause I was just thinkin' about skinnin' you like a deer."
Well she smiled, had about as much teeth as a Jack-O-Lantern,
and I went on to tell her how I would wear her face like a mask
as I do my little kooky dance.
And then she told me to shush.
I guess she could sense my desperation.
'Course, it's hard to hide a hard-on when you're dressed like Minnie Pearl.

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

So, Bambi's goin' on about how she can make all my fantasies come true.
So I says, "Even this one I have where Jesus Christ
is jackhammering Mickey Mouse in the doo-doo hole
with a lawn dart as Garth Brooks gives birth to something
resembling a cheddar cheese log with almonds on Santa Claus's tummy-tum?"
Well, ten beers, twenty minutes and thirty dollars later
I'm parkin' the beef bus in tuna town if you know what I mean.
Got to nail her back at her trailer.
Heh. That rhymes.
I have to admit it was even more of a turn-on
when I found out she was doin' me to buy baby formula.

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Day or so had passed when I popped the clutch,
gave the tranny a spin and slid on into
The Stinky Pinky Gulp N' Guzzle Big Rig Snooze-A-Stop.
There I was browsin' through the latest issue of "Throb",
when I saw Bambi starin' at me from the back of a milk carton.
Well, my heart just dropped.
So, I decided to do what any good Christian would.
You can not imagine how difficult it is to hold a half gallon of moo juice
and polish the one-eyed gopher when your doin' seventy-five
in an eighteen-wheeler.
I never thought missing children could be so sexy.
Did I say that out loud?

Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'
Well I find it's quite a thrill
When she grinds me against her will
Yes, a lap dance is so much better when the stripper is cryin'

Great song DB....ive had that song on my mp3 player for about 7 years now.....when i have a bad day it work it always cheers me up!

as maturity is the topic , this may be my last post???

as i type this , GF is on the phone with the cable company

bill is way outta control , if they wont lower it , screw them , they dont get our business

no more internet , no more house phone(thank god) , no more tv

only time will tell...................................

Nooooo ... you need to keep all that! Trust me, Ry's been on restriction all week and driven me CRAZY w/o his computer!